Go and amuse yourself.

I watched Home Alone in a movie theater today.

Still holds up. Here are my stray observations:

• Kevin’s mother is very concerned with the amount of milk in her home.
   
• Based on Little Nero Pizza’s delivery in 20-minutes or less or it’s free policy, they must have a very small delivery radius.
   
• Kevin’s dad tells him to pick up his micro machines because his aunt nearly broke her neck. Pretty good foreshadowing, right there.
   
• I had the same sheets as the ones on the bed in the attic. 
   
• During the storm montage, the camera cuts to the front door and abruptly zooms in on the Santa Claus head at the center of their wreath. It is very jarring.
   
• The van driver who the kid across the street keeps bothering is the Chicagoiest guy. Best character in the film.
   
• Second best character is Kevin’s Uncle. We learn that he loves the song “Cool Jerk” in the next film, which only strengthens this argument.
   
• They get a lot of mileage out of that one scene of “Angel with Filthy Souls” they filmed.
   
• I wonder if the b.b. gun was included as an homage to A CHRISTMAS STORY (Clark, 1983).
   
• Why did the McCallister’s have a doggy door in their kitchen? That thing was nowhere near insulated enough.
   
• When Kevin buys a pizza, it costs less than $12.
   
• I wonder how much Buzz’s life savings were. Between that pizza and the groceries he bought, Kevin spent less than $20 the whole movie.      
   
• When he’s at the grocery store, Kevin asks the cashier if those microwave dinners are any good. She says she doesn’t know because I guess they were still a new thing at that time.
   
• I really wonder how they got both of those grocery bags to break at the same time.
   
• When Kevin makes his Kraft macaroni and cheese in the microwave, it is prepared in a Styrofoam container.  1990 and 2012 are very different.
   
• Kevin never even gets to eat said microwaveable Kraft macaroni and cheese.
   
• That one line in “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” sounds like she’s saying “later we’ll have some fuckin’ pie.”
   
• Any version of “White Christmas” other than the one in this movie is worthless.
   
• When this film was made, it was entirely plausible to trade things for a plane ticket at the gate. 
   
• The entire theater, myself included, inexplicably found Jimmy Stweart speking French to be hilarious.
   
• R.I.P. John Candy
   
• I’m guessing they didn’t tell U-Haul that they intended on riding in the back of that truck.
   
• The nail looked like the most painful trap.
   
• Even still, I’d say Joe Pesci probably went through more shit than Daniel Stern.
   
• Daniel Stern looks kind of like Aaron Paul.
   
• This might be the only movie with a tarantula reaction shot.
   
• How long was the old man watching before he decided to intervene? Seems like he cut it pretty close.
   
• I think that’s about enough.

Now what are roaches supposed to eat after the Apocalypse?

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Happy Big Orange Drawing Book Day, everyone.

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I feel like I shouldn’t like Charles Bukowski, but then I go and read something like this:

“back to the machine gun”